Captain America Civil War: Things That Make No Sense
(Captain America Civil War SUMMARY)
Thaddeus Ross: The Sokovia Accords. Approved by 117 countries. It states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. Instead, they’ll operate under the supervision of a United Nations panel, only when and if that panel deems it necessary.
“Hey Avengers, the UN has a mission for you, but try not to hurt any innocent people on accident.”
Black Widow: And if we come to a decision you don’t like?
Thaddeus Ross: Then you retire.
Then why ask them to make a decision? They have to follow the Accords!
Vision: Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict breeds catastrophe.
Captain America 1 and 2 happened because of HYDRA. All the Iron Man movies happened because people hate him. Thor 1, 2 and Avengers happened because Loki was an egomaniac who wanted to be king. Avengers 2 happened because Iron Man messed up. What does this have to do with power inviting conflict?
Iron Man: There’s no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check!
Iron Man is the only Avenger who causes bad thing to happen! All his movies happened because he’s unlikable, Avengers two happened because he made Ultron. The villain in this movie is the villain because Iron Man made Ultron, and Spider-Man Homecoming happened because Iron Man was too lazy to take down Vulture himself even though it would probably only take five minutes for him.
Winter Soldier: With these guys he could do it. They speak 30 languages, can hide in plain sight, infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize, They can take a whole country down in one night. You’d never see them coming.
And Hydra didn’t use them to do that because…?
Scarlett Witch (to Hawkeye): Oh my god! What are you doing here?
Exactly. What are you doing Hawkeye? There was a reason everyone was on the side they were on. Falcon was with Captain America cause they were best friends. War Machine was with Iron Man because they were best friends. Bucky was with Captain America because…you already know why. Spider-Man was with Iron Man because he wanted to be an Avenger. Ant-Man was with Captain America because he’s dumb. Vision was with Iron Man because he’s boring. Scarlett Witch was with Captain America because she’s tired of being locked up. Black Widow was with Iron Man because she doesn’t want to retire and joins sides with Captain America because she promised to help him in Captain America 2. Black Panther was with Iron Man because he thought Bucky killed his father. So what was Hawkeye’s reason?
Captain America: We’re outside the law on this one. So, if you come with us, you’re a wanted man.
Ant Man: Yeah, well, what else is new?
The fact that you decided to give up life of crime to take care of your daughter?
Iron Man: Your judgment is askew. Your old war buddy killed innocent people yesterday.
Captain America: And there are five more super soldiers just like him. I can’t let the doctor find them first, Tony. I can’t.
And this wouldn’t be a good time to say Bucky didn’t bomb the UN and even if he did, he had no control of his actions?
Pet Robot Falcon drags Spiderman out of window.
Winter Soldier: You couldn’t have done that earlier?
Yes Falcon, you couldn’t have?
Winter Soldier: I didn’t kill your father.
Black Panther: Then why did you run?
Because you showed up dressed like cat and tried to kill him?
Captain America: We gotta draw out the flyers. I’ll take Vision. You get to the jet.
Even Scarlett Witch couldn’t take Vision. How could Captain America?
Iron Man: So? You got the files? Let’s reroute the satellites, start facial scanning for this Zemo guy.
Thaddeus Ross: You seriously think I’m gonna listen to you after that fiasco in Leipzig?
Yes, because you have the evidence in front of you.
